Comments on: Friday Flash: Father and Son

By: Djibril

Djibril — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 15:46:50 +0000

Yes, it does work as a self-contained piece, for the reasons several people have pointed out (backstory and future story; complete plot arc in the subject-matter under focus). But this doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be interesting to see a longer piece develop some of these themes, some day.

Good stuff.

By: Guy Hogan

Guy Hogan — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 18:56:33 +0000

Yes, well done. The dialogue gives us the backstory. And the significant event is going to happen after the story is over; but’s it’s the tears at the end that add the subtle, unexpected twist.

By: Paul Raven

Paul Raven — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:09:08 +0000

Thanks, Shaun – I nearly axed the “real things” bit (y’know, kill your darlings, and all that), but I decided I’d let it run in the end. Glad I did now!

By: ShaunCG

ShaunCG — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:51:48 +0000

I think this works as a self-contained piece, myself, as the basic thematic and plot matter is familiar enough that it can be slotted into a recognised and understood narrative. The focus, rather than being on the corporation, the location, or the act which they discuss, is on this small and pathetic (as in pathos, rather than the more common everyday usage) clash of approaches. The fieriness of youth and the weariness of age. It’s a really nice sketch of a moment where these two perspectives meet, tempered by the emotional investment of a father-son bond. There are some really nice turns of phrase, too, especially “a real thing for real things”.

By: Paul Raven

Paul Raven — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:41:41 +0000

Curious – I’ve managed to steal the style of three pieces of work I’ve never read! *g*

More seriously, I do have this problem with flash – in that I struggle to make the story self contained. I can’t seem to think about stories except as fragments of a larger narrative. Whether that’s a limitation or not remains to be seen, I guess.